Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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