Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
