Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
farters have to be the big spoon...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
