Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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