I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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