You work out of a Hotel?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
