I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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