i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
