My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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