i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
