this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
