Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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