watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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