That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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