went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
