jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
