hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
