he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
