very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
