Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
wow bdsm is so cute
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
