im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
