During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
