i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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