She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
