real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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