There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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