How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
