Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My vagina is very pro this idea
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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