It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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