I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
...so i touched it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
