I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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