put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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