break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
