Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Sext me about skeletons
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
