His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
