READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
