Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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