She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
