Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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