is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
