if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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