if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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