I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
