I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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