Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
