We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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