Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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