I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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