I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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