Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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