My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
