It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
